Addict
The Problem Persists
I gave up alcohol, or rather went 99% sober, on February 11th 2024.
On Monday 22nd April there was a Buffalo Trace (BTAC//Pappy) event at work. I wasn’t working that day but went along anyway to see people lose their minds over the samplings.
It wasn’t in some dreamed-up idea that I would drink or that I could go to a whisky event and not drink. The fact is, I didn’t drink any alcohol. I drank 0.0 Non-Alcoholic beer (1936 Swiss Biere). But even then the old habit was still strong.
Once I finished off a bottle of the 1936 blue label, I ordered another. I arrived at the bar at about 18:15 and left around 20:15. I’d had 5 bottles.
You might be thinking, “Yeah, but it was non-alcoholic beer”, and yeah, sure there was no booze involved. But the need to always have a drink in hand was there and it was strong.
This is the problem I had with the real stuff. The need to always have a drink. Like a conveyor belt of bottles always moving towards my mouth with an unstoppable further to satiate a thirst that can not be beaten into submission.
When I was finished with one drink I NEEDED another ready to go!
The thought was that at some point in the near future, I would have the wisdom to drink a little, here and there, to stop when I wanted. But as Monday night suggests, this isn’t yet.
I left the event at 20:15 because I was bored. If I had been drinking booze, I know that I would have stayed till closing.
Was I bored because I was sober or because I just wasn’t interested in the Event?
Who knows, I stayed as long as I could and then left.
This isn’t to say I can’t have a good time without booze, I do that every night I work the bar. As a bartender in a whisky specialist, you kinda need to know the whisky and the guests, but you also need to have a personality and charisma that will keep people coming back.
You can’t do that if you ignore your guests and look disinterested for 11 hours.
You need to sweet talk them, convince them to split with some money, sometimes more money then they were expecting to spend on a whisky.
Know your shit. Know your Guests. And sell sells sell.
Below are two photos I took of myself the first on Saturday 7th January 2023 the other one a few days later.
No, I wasn’t jumped/mugged/beaten up.
I still had my watch, wallet, keys, phone and camera.
By looking at payments on my card I should have arrived at my bus stop around 04:30. The walk home is 2 minutes.
My doorbell camera has me arriving around 05:00.
Apart from my face my right leg, below the knee on the outside, hurt and was difficult to walk on for a bit. Otherwise, I had no other injuries.
My jacket, one I still wear, has scuff marks on the left elbow and across the back.
I have no memory of this. I have no idea how it happened. I don’t even remember the preceding hours before. I don’t remember leaving work or what bar I went to after. Again my card payments had to tell me that. The kicking out time and the time to walk to my bus stop, the journey time, yeah I should have been home by 04:30.
This is what got me started on trying to quit, give up, stop, and moderate my drinking.
It’s not the hangovers (cause I don’t get them) but the memory loss and that this kinda shit can happen and I still, to this day, have no idea what happened.
Alcohol is a poison
I’m a Professional Photographer who dabbles in Writing and Documentary Film Making.
I’ve recently quit my job of three and a half years as a Bartender/Manager. Photography began as a hobby and quickly became a passion.
I’m a Professional Photographer, Filmmaker, Writer/Author and this website is where I’m going to document all of it. The good, the bad and the ugly.