Journal // 1st July 2024 (Copy)

Jul 1

On this day I… (yesterday)

Lessons from a Whisky Distillery Tour.

Yesterday was the tenth anniversary of the [English] Cotswolds Whisky Distillery (website). In my opinion, the most consistently good English Whisky. I don’t think I’ve ever had one I didn’t like on some level.

First and foremost, I want to thank everyone who organised the trip that allowed me to go on my first distillery tour.

I think the next time I do one, maybe even going back to Cotswolds, it will be an organised tour rather than a [event] party.

Arriving there at 13:30ish, we got signed in and then took a look around, people in our group left to do their work thing. The rest of us just kinda hung around.

It’s the English countryside, Not a bad place to hang around. Looked in on the shop and the other got some free [tokened] drinks. I gave my tokens away. I don’t drink anymore.

Frankly, I’m surprised that I didn’t.

A short time passed and we were told we could go take a look at the distillery. This was cool, massive 10,000-litre stills, grain hopper, washbacks. Seeing them brought home just how massive yet compact the whole operation is. And the thing that I really wanted to see, The Spirit Safe, nestled between Rosie and Fanny (the two stills pictured in back). This is where the heads and tails are removed, and the Hearts are kept to be stored in oak casks.

After this, we looked at their new wetland, a place that is becoming a natural space where plants, shrubs and trees will be allowed to grow wild. This is also where the water from the distiller is sent. After that, we took a photo-op with the new distillery sign. After that we didn’t have much to do, so we just stood in the designated smoking area and I watched everyone else smoke. One of us was drinking again. A quick tour of the warehouse was set up but we had to wait an hour as whisky tastings were happening in there all day, so we had to wait for one to finish to then jump in before the next one started. It’s nice to know people.

In the hour, we got some food, and one of us bought a bottle of whisky and drank it with a straw. I didn’t think this was a good idea. And frankly, the turning point for me. I knew that this was where my day was going to be less fun.

In the warehouse, we got to see a 10-year-old cask with a perspex cap so we could see how much liquid had been lost to the ‘Angels Share’. Pretty cool.

After this, we all walked about half a mile to a local pub. No pictures. AT this point I’d put it away. I’d seen everything I’d wanted to.

About an hour and one diet coke later we made our way back to the distillery where there was a party happening.

It was 18:00 by this point, I’d seen everything I’d wanted to see and frankly, was ready to just leave. The bottle with a straw made another appearance, and more drinks and food were had. People danced and got more and more drunk.

For the next two and a half hours I was just there, not doing anything, constantly being asked the same questions over and over, ‘are you okay’, and ‘let’s dance’. I just wasn’t in the mood. I wasn’t pissed off or upset, I just wasn’t in the mood for it.

Begin the only sober people with a group of drunk people isn’t a fun situation. Which lead me to lesson number one. The second lesson would happen on the way home. And a reinforcement of lesson one.

I appointed myself property supervisor and looked after everyone's coats and bags while they danced the way drunk people danced. Again the questions because not dancing is a sign you’re upset. Apparently. It did make me feel like an old curmudgeon though. Not because I was one, but because I wasn’t “enjoying” myself the way they were. I’m sure If I was drinking I’d be having just as much, but I wasn’t.

Maybe they just thought that I felt left out… No, no, no.

The road home. A slow start due to three cunts who decided to hold up EVERYONE because they wanted a “quick” smoke. Their bus was blocking traffic, the driveway in and out and preventing our bus from picking us up. Bristol Hipster CUNTS.

The road home.

What should have taken two hours took about three. We stopped twice even though everyone was told to pee before we left. These people remember are adults. Drunk adults but adults nonetheless. And of course, at every stop, a cigarette was needed.

We left just after 20:30 and arrived back at Paddington around 23:30. The tube trains that I needed to get home, of course, had stopped running at this point so that was fun.

The noise home gave me a killer headache, due in part to all the drunk people screaming and shouting, and at one point my seat was being shaken. This was apparently, funny. However, the threat of a punched face ended that.

Then more questions, the ‘how you okay’ made another appearance, I smiled and just said, “yeah".” I wasn’t, people were acting like idiots and I couldn’t just get up and leave. Was this how I acted when I was drunk? Probably. Just another reason to not drink. I was asked a bunch of questions by someone whom I couldn’t understand so just politely nodded and said “yeah.” every time turning my face to the window in the vain hope they’d just stop asking me questions I couldn’t understand.

I couldn’t understand them for two reasons: 1. The noise. 2. She was very drunk.

About 40 minutes before we were due to arrive at Paddington, a microphone was found and an impromptu karaoke began. The combo of the cheap mic, the closeness of it to the singer’s mouth, and the volume of the speakers meant that my headache reached new levels of pain. Especially during the high notes.

The bus journey home reinforced both lessons;

1. Next time this sort of thing happens, make my own way or drive.

2. I like the quiet and moving out to the English countryside or somewhere in the middle of nowhere Norway, is where I want to be. (i.e, away from people)

I could have left at 18:00, been home at 20:00. No headache, no waiting around bored.

Having my own car would give me way more freedom and I think I would have been happier overall. I could have visited the local village, Cherington. I could have left earlier, and pooped into Clarksons Farm which we passed, by about two miles, on the way in.

Apart from everything after the pub, 18:00 onward, I had fun, I really enjoyed the distillery and the event. And even the people I was with. But being a sober guy in a group of drunk people some of which have no concept of ‘drinking too much’ and like the phrase ‘I’m just having fun’.

Thank you Cotswolds Distillery for having us.