Journal // 30th July 2024
On this day I… No Seriously, I’m Happy.
The Daily Stoic, 30th July, Stoic Joy.
“Trust me, real joy is a serious thing.” - Seneca
Here’s my take on Men and expressing Joy.
How I usually express Joy and Happiness.
When I walk into a room people often ask me if I want their Boots, their clothes and their motorcycle.
Why?
Because I pretty much always have a “resting bitch face”, even when I’m happy. I also walk like I’m on a mission the future is depending on.
I get the Terminator reference and I smile <— Joy.
Frankly, if you want to see joy in a Real Man, obscure 80’s - 90’s movie references, power tools, cars, and being lazy on a Sunday morning with his woman.
Men typically don’t express themselves the same way women do. While women express their feelings and emotions on their sleeves, Men don’t.
Why?
We don’t put our feelings on show a lot of the time. Get us drunk and things tend to change, but under normal circumstances, we might simply smile. We don’t get excited, jumping up and down squealing and wagging our hands in the air. No.
We just smile.
Joy has a deeper meaning.
Getting all giddy and giggly is more like cheer or excitement than pure joy.
The birth of a child is pure joy, do we see women jumping up and down waggling their arms and squealing after giving birth? No.
Being Happy and being joyful aren’t the same.
Showing happiness is a surface feature of good emotions.
Joy is much, much deeper than that, it barely shows its true self on the surface, except for a smile and maybe a few tears. Yes, even in Men. Real Men (don’t believe that red pill BS Andrew Tate pukes).
It’s quiet, restrained, dignified, elegant, graceful.
Not a loud blubbering mess.
Men express joy the same way women do. But we don’t confuse it with happiness or excitement.
Just because I’m not losing my mind over my birthday or something cool happening or getting to see Deadpool & Wolverine doesn’t mean I’m not joyful or happy. It just means that I have better control over my feelings and emotions.
Yes, I feel. Yes, I have emotions. And yes I do express them. I just express them in an appropriate amount that is equal to the reason for it.
You can bet your arse that if I have kids, I’ll be a mess at the birth, why? Because it would be the appropriate amount of expression to articulate the joy I’d be feeling.
Stoicism can control happiness and excitement. But not joy.
For true joy, there needs to be an element of love. Being a Stoic can’t control that.
It’s why Men cry when getting married. So ladies, If your man isn’t at the very least, holding back the tears when saying your vows, you got maybe a year.
Yes, I feel Joy.
Yes, I have cried.
Yes, I’m human.
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